I dunno about you guys and gals, but there used to be a time in my life where I was not the positive person that people see me as today. Anytime I looked into any mirror, I would tell myself something negative about my appearance, or I would avoid the mirror and cameras all together. I was extremely nasty and mean; fat and ugly came up for me the most. Kids picked on me a lot at school, which helped to reinforce my negative views about myself.

Believing What You Tell Yourself

I would never say such cruel things to any person, so I don’t know why I thought that it would be acceptable for me to criticize myself so harshly for so long. I always looked for the negativity in my appearance without thinking of its cumulative effect. Once I realized what I was actually doing is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that I actually believed, I realized I could instead choose whether to focus on negative or positive attributes.

you look fine - positive cognitive change

“You look fine today.”

It’s a hard habit to break, but self-love starts with saying to yourself regularly that you look fine or ok and stop telling yourself the hurtful negative things. Slowly, it will start to become a habit and you will find yourself looking for the good things that are there, instead nit-picking petty flaws that no one pays attention to except yourself. To remind yourself to say positive things, put some positive affirmations on sticky notes close to the mirrors in your home.

Positive Practice Makes Perfect

Eventually, with practice, looking for the positive side will become automatic, not only when you look in the mirror, but also when you view situations which are out of your control. I’m slowly starting to appreciate the face and body that I was given and I find myself looking for awesomeness in myself as well as other people and things on a more regular basis.

Additional Resources

Study more about Cognitive Therapy on Wikipedia >

Published by Suzette Franck

Suzette Franck has been in web development for over twenty years; she started making hand-coded HTML websites on geocities with font tags and tables back in 1995. Since then, she has taught herself CSS, Sass, PHP, MySQL, as well as becoming a Wordpress expert; evangelizing and presenting at over twenty-two WordCamps across the country and multiple WordPress meetups in Southern California where she resides, about all aspects of building and maintaining sites on WordPress. Suzette is passionate about WordPress the application as well as the WordPress Open Source Community, and loves to code and teach others the wonders of WordPress. She is a purveyor of lowbrow art, and when she is not WordPressing, she is painting or visiting Los Angeles art galleries to add more work to her growing art collection.

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  1. My goodness! I don’t know you personally, but I saw you at WP events a couple years ago, your look has changed dramatically, but it is still (and was then) lovely and dynamic. It is difficult to be a spectacular snowflake in a world that rewards conformity. Keep up the good work. You don’t look fine, you look awesome—but it’s all about how you feel. Feel wonderful.

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